Dear Diary 19

Dear Diary,

Someone very close to me is in the hospital. He has sarcoidosis and they found a clot in his lungs that spread to his heart. The doctors told him he would have died if he would have gone a few more days without going to the doctor.

It's so hard to see someone you love going through something like this. It makes you remember how precious life is.

My husband and I had an argument Sunday night and we weren't too fond of one another Monday morning. What if, God forbid, something would have happened to him? Would I want the last words I said to him to be out of anger? I love my husband very much and never want to go to bed angry again.

I'm so glad my father and I never argued because I never got the chance to say goodbye to him. Our conversations were always filled with love and laughter. I miss him very much, but draw comfort in the fact that angry words were not something we shared.

After my father's death, I began to value the ones I love more. A conversation does not end without me saying, "I love you." That is so important. It's also nice to hear, even if it's known. You don't realize that you take for granted someone will always be there until they're gone. I wish my father's death wasn't the catalyst for this realization, but it was.

I am going to do all I can to make angry words a thing of the past. Words of love are so much better. No more going to bed angry. There are times when my husband makes me crazy, but if I lost him, I could not be found.