Monday, May 3, 2010

Dear Diary 70

Dear Diary,

I'm having a situation. I can't really get into it but I really need an oulet. It's a frustrating time. It's tough when someone else has control of something that is important to you and they use it to their advantage when they really shouldn't.

I try my best to be a kind person. Some people really test you when you're attempting to make a change. I want to explode but I know it will not help the situation. I'm not sure what to do. All I can do at this point is stay prayed up and have faith that things will work out for the best.

I'm being tested right now and I really don't want to fail. I don't want to let myself down or become unworthy of the strength that I have asked the Lord to help me recover and hold on to. I guess weakness leads to anger. I'm in a vulnerable position. If I let my anger get the best of me, I will lose. In my head I know that the best thing to do is to be easy and let things work themselves out. My heart is having a hard time.

People don't always live up to their billing. This situation could be resolved but the person who could make that happen has turned out to be a disappointment. Our relationship will never be the same if I think of the way they let me down so I choose to try and look past it.

I choose to have faith. I've spent a lot of time thinking things into the ground. I can't do that this time. I have to let the waters flow and see where I float. I'm sure i'll end up where i'm suppose to be. It may not be the location of my choice but i'm going to have to live with it.

Until tomorrow....