Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Dear Diary 54

Dear Diary,


I've looked back and forth up and down the timeline of my life and it's been pretty good. Things haven't always gone the way I would like but I still can't complain. There are so many people who would like to be in my shoes and have the "problems" I think I have. There was a time when I did a lot of complaining but I have come to realize that complaining only forces you to stay in the same position.


Bitching and moaning about job, finances, or whatever else you're letting get you down is a waste of time. You have to get up, get out, and make things happen for yourself. It's not always easy. I have let life get me down in the past and didn't realize that I was holding myself back. I'm learning to get in the game and not be a spectator. It's important.


Isaiah 40:31. But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run , and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

A friend emailed this scripture to me. It's something I needed to hear. The words were perfect and right on time, just like God seems to be for me. A few things have happened to me recently that would have affected me in the past. I knew I was growing when I was able to keep the faith and move on. I prayed for the strength that I knew God was going to give me and went on with the business of living. It felt good. Life is going to keep throwing me curve balls and i'm glad that I am learning that I don't always have to dodge them. I can face them head on and know that my faith in God will pull me through.


I named this blog after the person I was aspiring to be. I started down a path and wasn't sure where it would lead. I just knew I had to find my way because I wasn't happy with the way my life was going. Changes needed to be made. I had to woman up and get it together. Looking in the mirror and telling myself there had to be more was getting to be tiring. I am very proud of the woman I am today. She has done, and will continue to do, what she needs to do to be that strong black woman. The journey never ends. Things are constantly changing. There was a time when I was scared of that change, but that's all in the past. I love me.


I am good enough. I am strong enough. It is my time. Those who cannot get with it will not be invited on my journey. I am that strong black woman.

Until tomorrow....

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Dear Diary 53

Dear Diary,

Things with my book are really moving along. I'll be having another book club meeting this month and i'm really looking forward to it. The people I chose to be a part of my journey are really serious about helping me achieve my goal. That means a lot to me.

The cousin of one of the book club members actually knows someone in publishing. She has already told her about me and given me her contact information. I was extremely touched by this. This is not someone I have a lot of contact with. She's just a woman who wants me to succeed. I appreciate it more than I can tell her.

I'm very lucky to have people in my life who genuinely want me to succeed. They don't only want me to succeed because they love and care for me, they actually believe in my talent. That feels great.

I am so glad that I finally decided to share my gift with the world. Blogging was a huge step for me, and something that I have wanted to do for a long time. I don't have the most popular blogs, but I am thankful for the people who take the time to read my thoughts and leave a comment now and then. I have also made some good blog friends whose support I deeply appreciate.

Never once have I taken for granted how blessed I am to know what my gift is. I've just been a little hesitant to share it. Those days are definitely over. I'm proud of myself. I wrote a book! Each day I feel better about what I have done.

I pray that I will have my book on the shelvesby the end of the year. It felt wonderful when I wrote the last word. Imagine how it's going to feel when I see it in print.

Until tomorrow....

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Dear Diary 52

Dear Diary,

I woke up before my alarm clock went off this morning. My husband and I use the alarm on my cell phone because it's really loud. I wasn't ready to get up, so I laid in bed and said a prayer. When I was done I began to think of my father. I often feel like he is with me and it gives me comfort. That is what he did for me when he was alive so there's no reason it should change.

As I laid in bed I said, "If you're here daddy, give me a sign." As soon as the thought left my head my alarm clock went off and said, "Hello Moto," like it does every morning. I took that as a sign that my daddy was around me. It may sound funny, and it might not even be true, but that's what it meant to me.

I told my co-worker about what happened and she said I miss my dad so much that i'm grasping at straws because my alarm clock goes off at the same time each day. She can have her opinion. I still believe he was letting me know he was there. I had no idea what time it was and was not expecting the alarm. My daddy was saying hello to me. I don't care what anyone says.

Yes, I may believe it because that's what I want. So what. I really wish my father was here. There's so much I would love to talk to him about. I still talk to him and often make decisions based on the advice I think he would give me, but it would be so much better if I could actually converse with him. I know that's not going to happen so when I ask for a sign and my alarm says, "Hello," i'm going to say it was my daddy.

Until tomorrow....