Thursday, January 22, 2009

Dear Diary 33

Dear Diary,

Anyone who does not know the definition of a strong black woman need only look to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. The perfect example is living in the White House. What a feeling it is to know that she is there, Michelle Obama, first lady.

She is a wife

Her husband always describes her as his best friend and love of his life. She stands beside him and they take all journeys together. When you look at Barack and Michelle, you know that Black love is alive and well. What a blessing it is to see such a wonderful couple, who is deep in love, at the head of the table of the United States. They look at each other and their undeniable love shines through. It's a wonderful thing to see. A strong black woman is there for her man. She has his back at all times, but when he's wrong she'll let him know.

She's a mother

Always making sure he babies are protected and putting their welfare ahead of everything else. It's obvious that motherhood is extremely important to Michelle. You can look at her girls and see that they were, "raised right." (I heard an elderly woman say that on the bus this morning) A strong black woman takes care of hers and protects them at all costs. It's not easy raising children these days and we know we have to be there with them every step of the way to ensure that we are there when they need help navigating themselves through life. When she can't be there, she can call grandma, the one who was there for her navigation, to step in.

She's a fashion icon

This strong black woman is already changing the face of fashion. I really respect the fact that she chose to wear the clothes of two basically unknown designers to the inauguration and Presidential balls. Her style is great. She's not too flashy, and can still be classy and sexy at the same time.

She's a thinker

Strong black women are always trying to figure out what they can do to make things better. We wonder how we can make the lives of the ones we love better and be there when they need us. In Michelle's case, she has to care for an entire country. Whenever I see her, I see so much strength. She's so classy and dignified, yet down to earth and fun at the same time. She makes me proud.

I don't think I could be any happier. These pass few days have been wonderful. I look forward to seeing what Michelle Obama, first lady and strong black woman, has in store for the country.

Until tomorrow....

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Dear Diary 32

Dear Diary,

Life is so short. You never know what can happen. My husband and I were going down the West Side Highway here in New York and fire trucks and police cars were zooming by left and right. It was kind of scary because we had absolutely no idea what was going on. My husband turned to 1010 WINS, the all news station, and the reporter was talking about a plane crashing into the Hudson. My heart dropped.

Luckily, thanks to a great pilot and quick response, everyone got out alive and all injuries were minor. The first thing I thought of when I heard about the plane was a terrorist attack. Anything having to do with an airplane brings back terrible memories for us New Yorkers. I was relieved to find out that birds, not terrorists, caused the pilot to land the plane on the river. He gets top props for his skills.

That crash made me think a lot about my life. I've spent some time feeling sorry for myself and not being as confident as I should be. I've done a lot of work on those issues and, even though i'm not exactly where I want to be, I have made lots of progress. My lack of confidence told me that I would not have the moxxy to shop my novel around. That has totally changed. I'm ready to share my gift with the world. I'm ready and I know it's my time.

I pray for those who went through the plane crash. I hope they know how blessed they are. The Lord could be saving them for something big. I've been feeling like my true blessing is coming. There's something about this year that has me feeling optimistic. Maybe i'm looking forward to Tuesday and what's to come after our first Black president is sworn in. Maybe I just have a new outlook on life and positivity is really flowing through my body. Whatever the reason, it feels good.

Until tomorrow....

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Dear Diary 31

Dear Diary,

I womaned up and went to my manager and told her how I felt. It's not in my character to hold things in, plus I felt it was important that I get things out in the open before I got to the point of explosion.

We both come in very early, so I was able to speak to her before the office filled up. I let her know that her micro managing style was making me uncomfortable. I also told her if she continued to constantly check my work there was no reason for me to do it. All of the things feeling spilled out of my mouth and I felt so much better when I was done. It wasn't about her response, because I knew it would be one of denial (and it was). It was about me letting her know how I felt. I was not willing to carry it around anymore.

My job situation was spilling over into other aspects of my life, even my blogging. It was hard for me to get out of bed in the morning because I didn't want to go to work. I became stressed because I was holding in something that was bothering me. I don't like to do that. I always said I would never allow another job to stress me out. It happened once before and I actually became physically ill. Getting rid of what was bothering me was of the utmost importance.

Even though she denied being a micro manager, my feelings are out in the open and I received an apology and promise that things will change. The funny thing is, in her denial my manager said she has heard that complaint before and doesn't understand where it is coming from. That made me laugh.

I feel so much better. I am determined to make 2009 one of the best years i've ever had and I will not allow anyone's issues to change that.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Dear Diary 30

Dear Diary,

I don't really like my job but i'm grateful to have it. I know there are people who would love to be in my shoes and I am definitely blessed, especially in these days and times. That is what I try to keep first and foremost in my head day after day. I thank God that my husband and I are able to pay our bills and keep a roof over our family's head and food on the table.

Things were going great for me for a while. I was given projects to do and left alone. I didn't really have a supervisor. It was great. I'll admit i'm the type of person who doesn't like to be told what to do. When I leave this job, I never want to work FOR anyone. I have to do me.

Imagine the horror when I was told that my department would be changed and I would be working with one of the most micro managing managers there is? Thoughts of quitting immediately filled my head but,of course, I can't leave my job right now. The two people who already work in the department don't know what it means to stand up for themselves and i'm known for constantly doing just that. In my old department I worked with someone who was right there with me. I'm all alone now.

It hurts my heart when our people have that slave mentality. It's almost like they're saying, "Yes'm" all the time. When you let people talk to you and treat you any kind of way because of their position, that is what you are doing. I've never been one to go there. You have to give respect in order to give it. There is no one that I will allow to come at me in a disrespectful manner and my new manager is very disrespectful and condescending. She seems to think that her title means she is above those she is managing. I'm really not having that.

I completed a week of working with this person and I think she has gotten the idea that she cannot push me around like she does her current staff. I will do everything within my power to let her know that I am not what she's use to. It's hard for me to watch women over the age of 40 being treated, and acting, like little girls, being told where to sit and when to move. That's just not me. I don't respond well to micro management. It's just not necessary.

I've been praying for patience and solution. I don't want to lose my temper. I guess it's going to be a battle of wills. Wish me luck.

Until tomorrow....

Friday, January 9, 2009

Dear Diary 29

Dear Diary,

It's 2009! The year went so fast that I barely remember half the things I did. I do know that it was a year of ups and downs. Things could have been better, but i'm not going to complain. Instead of doing that, I will look at the arrival of 2009 as a chance to make things better.

I went to a party on new years eve and had a wonderful time. It's always great to be around good people. There was no drama and everyone just wanted to have fun. That's sort of the way I plan to live in 2009, no drama only good things. I know there's no way that things will be perfect, but I will do all I can to make sure it's as good as it can be.

My number one priority right now is publishing my novel. I'm at the end of my first round of editing and it feels good. I'm an author. I smile every time I think about what i've done. I have a great feeling. Things are going to go well.

When 2008 ended, I let go of a lot of the things I had on my mind and spirit. I'm genuinely looking at 2009 with a clean slate. I changed a lot last year. I've become a stronger, more positive woman. My shoulders feel lighter. There were some negative energies in my life that I have gotten rid of and it really made a huge difference.

I'm more than ready to face whatever happens this year. I feel stronger and I have so much more faith that things will go well. I'm learning how to let go and let God. I know that my destiny has already been written and I can feel that something is about to happen.

I'm sure there have been times in the past when I could have had the success I wanted, but it wasn't time. I wasn't ready. I've done a lot of soul searching and i'm in such a good place. I feel that the trials of 2008 were preparing me for the blessings of 2009. Finally, i'm ready to receive and appreciate all the good things that I feel are coming my way.

Until tomorrow....