Saturday, September 19, 2009

Dear Diary 61

Dear Diary,

I was so aggravated when I left work Wednesday. The things they come up with on my job amaze the hell out of me. I feel like i'm taking a trip to grammar school five days a week. I was so happy that I would be off Thursday because I was on the verge of exploding. I prayed that the day off would help me get myself together so that I would be okay when I went in Friday.

God truly does work in mysterious ways. I got a call from one of my co-workers telling me that they needed someone to work Saturday. If I agreed to work I would be able to take Friday off. This was a wonderful thing! All of the offices are closed on Saturday and only the evening/weekend staff comes in. I wouldn't have to deal with anyone I didn't want to see.

The Lord knew I needed that extra day and I am so thankful. I had time to realize that he is in control and not the people who think they are. I cannot allow a boss with no backbone to upset me. The idiotic policies they come up with make no sense. I know this and i'm not sure why I get upset when they come to us with more stupidity and nonsense.

I have a plan for my life that does not include sitting in a cubicle five days a week. This is just a means to an end. I know the day will come when I will walk out of this place with a smile. I just have to continue to work toward my goals and not allow people without lives to affect mine.

I'm good and thankful.

Until tomorrow....

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Dear Diary 60

Dear Diary,

I love my book! This is the third time i'm reading it and the excitement is constantly growing. I actually think about the characters when i'm not reading and that's a good thing. I'm proud of myself. There was a time when I would not have said that because I would have felt like I was bragging. I'm so over that. So what if I am bragging. I wrote a book!

A few months ago I got a few friends and family members together and started a book club. They read a chapter of the book each month and we get together to discuss the characters and content. I chose people I that I knew would be honest with me. I didn't want any sugar coated feedback. I wanted the real deal.

Everyone in the club seems to love the book. They go from heated debates to personal stories that are related to a character or event in the book. It's awesome. It lets me know that those who read my book will feel a connection to what I created. It's such an amazing feeling.

It's such a blessing to have people in my life who support me and are willing to take the time to help me make my dream come true. I have wanted to become a published author for a long time. I'm sure my folks knew I had the talent but wondered if i'd ever get it done. I felt that way as well. I've written poems and short stories over the years but I didn't do anything with them. Most of it is in storage.

One day I looked at some of the poems that I have written over the years. Looking at the dates it's obvious that writing poetry got me through some things. The dates definitely correspond with stuff I was going through. Poetry was my outlet. It helped a lot to sit down and let my anger, hurt, or even happiness flow through my pen.

My husband and I were watching an episode of "The Cleaner" and a young drug addicted dancer had to come to the realization that she would no longer be able to dance. Even though she knew it might kill her, she wanted to continue to dance. I understood how she felt. I'm not sure what I would do if I couldn't write. It's my lifeline.

It feels good to be excited about what's going to happen with my book. There are other aspects of my life that need some work right now. My job is the first thing that comes to mind. I'm so happy to have an outlet that takes my mind off of the way I feel when I am there. I know that my days there are numbered. One way or another I will use the gift the Lord gave me to change my career situation. I can feel it.

Until tomorrow....

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Dear Diary 59

Dear Diary,

I'm having a bit of blogger's block and it's really bothering me. There was a time when, second to my book, it was the only thing I thought of in terms of writing. It's something i've wanted to do for a long time. I have no idea why i'm slipping. I need to get on the ball.

I'll get back on the ball. Right now i'm really concentrating on trying to get my book done. It's been about a year since I started writing and the editing process i'm going through right now is much more work than I expected. I've always said that I would not hire anyone to edit my book because I don't want anyone to try and change the focus and intent. It looks like I may not have a choice.

This is the third time i'm reading through the book and i'm still changing things and finding errors. It's actually fun. I still love what I have written. The excitement is still there. I can still visualize the day when I see my book on the shelves. It's going to be amazing.

I still love to blog and hopefully i'll find my love of blogging again. For now i'm going to concentrate on making my dream come true.