Dear Diary 72

Dear Diary,

I haven't blogged in so long and I don't know why. It's like every time I think about it I get sidetracked. It's beginning to bother me, like i'm neglecting my child or something. I have got to do better.

There's been a lot going on in my life lately, but at the same time nothing has really changed. There are still times when I feel that I am not doing enough with my life. I have a feeling i'll always feel that way because i'm my toughest critic. I really need to learn to stop being so hard on myself.

My book is coming along but I feel like a deer in headlights when it comes to the publishing game. It's so much work. I've read articles and books that are suppose to help me decide how to maneuver the whole thing, but all that's doing is causing more confusion. I've reached out to a few of the authors i've come in contact with, but so far they've only wanted to help up to a certain point. It's like a magician who doesn't want to reveal how the trick is done because he's scared it'll be done better.

Sometimes I feel like something is missing. I'm not quite sure what it is. When I start feeling like it's not all there, I think of my little Lia. She is the shining light of my life. All I have to do is picture her pretty little face in my head and I feel better. I love being a grandmother. It has changed me. She has changed me. It's wonderful. I love playing with her and taking care of her.

Lia is so awesome! She's a little person now. The baby is gone. It's so much fun to see her discovering, and doing, new things. We went to lunch Saturday and she sat at the table for the first time. Her eyes lit up and you could tell she felt like a big girl. It was so cute! I wish I could have that light in my eyes each day. Well, I guess I can't say that because it's there whenever she's around.

Until tomorrow....