Friday, July 9, 2010

Dear Diary 71

Dear Diary,

Ain't life grand? You have to get with it. There is absolutely no choice. Even when you don't feel like making that lemonade. Most of the time I feel like taking those lemons and throwing them back at the universe, but it's just not a option. I have to keep on moving.

Sometimes I wish things were always easy. I have to keep reminding myself that there is no testimony without a test. Life has to be about learning from your mistakes and Lord knows i've made a lot of them. Some I didn't even know about. I thought I was doing a pretty good job and found out that I sucked. LOL! It hurt me to the core but I learned a valuable lesson.

I know I have not been the perfect mother, wife, sister, daughter, or friend but i've done my best. I'm confident that the people I love know how I feel about them. I may have been too much of a disciplinarian, or not catered to my husband enough. I didn't always have the patience that was required or keep in touch the way I should have. I'm still a good person, though flawed.

There are just some who feel that the world revolves around them. Some who have an overblown sense of entitlement. I have learned to accept that in some of the people I love and move on. I will not be the receptacle for their narcisstic view of the world. Do you boo, just not on my time.

I have to learn how to just do me. I've battled worried chick syndrome for a long time. At one point I had it under control, but it's coming back. I'm not happy about that at all. I'm missing out. I think, think, think, and by the time i'm done i'm too exhausted to move. It's just in me and I can't shake it.

I'm doing my best. I've learned to try and find that quiet space in my mind when people, places, and things start to get to me. I shall overcome. Life is too damned grand to even think of doing anything else.

Until tomorrow....


A Free Spirit Butterfly said...

Tammy, a coworker came into my office this past Tuesday holding her very own "self published" book. I was so excited, you would have thought that it was mine. I hugged her so tight for what the Lord has blessed her with and then, HE whisphered, "Now Denise, it's okay. Now!"

So I'm going to do it. I already have the "materials." I have decided to put my first book of Poetry out into the Universe.

It's self titled after my Poetry Blog.

I've been delighting myself in the Lord, and he's getting ready to reward me. I'm claiming it and so there it is!

Love you and praying for you! I will surely mail you an autographed copy. It took her about 6 months, but each journey is different. Either way not long from now, I'm going to be a published author! WOW

Love and hugs,
your Big sis in Waldorf, Md.

Strongblkwmn said...

I'm so happy for you. I have to admit that I have gotten lazy and let life hinder my progress. I plan to renew my committment to my work when I get home. Congratulations! I can't wait to receive my copy. I'll send you one when i'm done too. Thanks for everything!

Solomon said...

Sometimes I wish things were always easy too. For there has been many an occasion I have felt like throwing those lemons back at the universe.

Life is not easy sometimes. And I know the Lord is looking after you as he is watching over me also.

You always give me that little bit of inspiration that I am looking for to move it forward.