Monday, December 29, 2008

Dear Diary 28



Dear Diary,

Well, 2008 is coming to a close. It's been an up and down year for me, but I feel extremely blessed. I have family and friends who love me, a roof over my head, a place of employment that allows me to pay my bills, and i'm alive and kicking.

I've done some complaining in 2008 when things didn't go my way, but i'm going to do my best to change that in 2009. Instead of complaining, i'm going to do all that I can to make things better. I'm starting a checklist and hope to have every item listed checked off by or before December 2009 is over.

I wish a blessed year to all those that I know and love. I've met some nice people here in the blog world and I hope they all have a wonderful 2009. I'm taking a break but i'll be back in the new year, hopefully with a clear blog head, ready to roll.

Have a blessed 2009.

Until Next Year....

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Dear Diary 27

Dear Diary,

Behind, next to, and in front of every strong black woman there is one to match. When I think of my family, i'd definitely say that's true. There are three generations in my immediate, my mother, my sisters and I, my daughter, and niece. We are five very different women, all strong in our own right.

My mother - the matriarch

I've seen my mother tackle many challenges and obstacles in her life. Sometimes it saddens me that things had to be so hard for her. She has so much love in her heart. If she could do for every person she loves she would. She's strong, yet extremely sensitive, and needs to be needed.

If I haven't learned anything else from my mother, I have learned the value of hard work. She will get up and go to work even though her knees hurt or her arthiritis is making it hard to move. There are a lot of times that I feel like turning that alarm clock off and going back to sleep for no good reason, and there are times when I do. There are also those times when I think WWMD (What Would Mom DO) and I get up and go to work.

I tell my mother I love her all the time, but I don't think i've ever told her that I am inspired by her strength. If I could give her the world I would, just so she could take a break and relax.

The matriarch begat:

Me - The oldest

The martriarch's first born. It's hard for me to describe myself of say what I bring to the table without feeling funny. I'll just say that people tell me I look just like my mother and my sister always says I have her strength. I'm a wife and mother who loves her family with all her heart and would do anything for them.

I've made some mistakes, but for the most part i've had a pretty good life and, hopefully, set a good example for those who came after me. My mistakes made it a little easier for:

Char - The crazy middle child with no middle name

The one who makes everyone laugh. She has a smile that brightens up a room. If you're sensitive or don't like to laugh, stay away. She can hook up some hair and cleans with a fierceness. You can eat off her floor. She has that childlike quality that makes everyone smile.

She's Ms. Stiletto, with a great fashion sense. Ms. Sensitivity who doesn't like hurting anyone and wants everyone to get along. This girl just wants to have fun. When she hurts, she hurts deep and that's also the way she loves. She came nine years after the oldest and three years later came:

Yvette - Baby Girl the cook

She has a regal spirit and an old soul, and is serious, yet fun. Watches cooking shows and makes the best garlic broccoli i've ever tasted. (LOL) She's the youngest, but wiser than most. You can tell when you speak to her. She has that mama face that tells you she's not playing, but no intention on having any children.

She was the baby in the family and then the oldest had a baby and along came:

Lamika - First grandchild the teacher

My daughter. She came into my life at a time when I wasn't ready to be a mother but prepared myself nonetheless. Because of her I learned of the fight I had inside of me. She is here because of it. She's been curious from birth and became the first of us all to earn not one, but two college degrees.

She takes the minds of children into her hands and molds them each and every day. What a huge responsibility. I don't think there's any way I could be any prouder of the woman she has become. She stands tall and walks with pride. I am impressed every day. She spent years being the only granddaughter and Char blessed us all with:

Andrette - the talker

She's only 13 in age, but wise way beyond her years. If you talk to her you can tell there's something in store for her. She loves unconditionally and fully, always wanting to hug. I smile when I think about her. I see her future, it's bright. She may have to dust her glasses off a little to see how worthy of it she is, but it'll happen in time. We all know those teen years are rough, but she'll make it through.

Three generations loving each other, molding each other, making the way for each other. That's what strong black women do. It's a beautiful thing to be able to look to the right, left, and back of you and know that there's someone there holding you down, ready to listen, teach, and pay forward all that they receive.

Until tomorrow....

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Dear Diary 26

Dear Diary,

I've been feeling a little run down lately. I think it's a combination of personal and work issues. I'm a little stressed out and I hate feeling this way.

Tomorrow i'm going to have a long talk with my boss. I'm always being told how efficient and dependable I am. It's nice to be recognized, but not as nice when the responsibilities are piling up and the pay is staying the same. I've been rolling with the punches because I actually like staying busy, but it's getting to the point where i'm feeling used.

I would like to look for another job but that's not the best idea in this economic climate. I've been on my job for 13 years and I have great pension and benefits, some of the best in the city. It wouldn't make much sense to leave right now. In a way I feel stuck. I'm not really crazy about my job, but I know that i'm blessed to have it. I can only imagine how many people would love to be in my shoes.

If I had it my way, and didn't have bills to pay and a family to take care of, i'd quit and concentrate on my writing. I watch these movies and read articles about people who give up everything for their dream. It would be wonderful if that was my reality.

My husband makes very good money and could probably pay the bills on his own if I quit, but I could not let that happen. It wouldn't be fair to him, and I wouldn't be able to live depending on him. I'm an independent woman and I have to have my own money. I have to be able to do what I want, when I want, and not have to ask anyone for the cash to do it.

Anything worth having is worth working for. So, it'll take me a little longer to finish editing my book and get it published. It's worth the work and i'm ready to put it in.

Until Tomorrow....

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Dear Diary 25

Dear Diary,

To my utter surprise, I have been tagged. I wasn't even sure that many people read my blog, but i'm learning that everyone who reads doesn't necessarily comment. It feels good to know that someone enjoys reading my thoughts enough to single them out. It's my turn to do the same.


THE RULES

Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends. Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.

Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to This Post,which explains The Award. http://scholastic-scribe.blogspot.com/2008/10/200-this-blings-for-you.html
Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List. That way, we'll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives This Prestigious Honor!

I enjoy reading about the spiritual journey of A Free Spirit Butterfly. She's always postive and inspiring. As soon as I see that beautiful butterfly on her page I smile.


He hasn't been around for a little while, but I always love checking out SLC's blog to see what thought provoking topic he comes up with. He always sees things from a very interesting PERSPECTIVE. His blog is definitely one of my favorites.

Stacye's blog Standing Able is one of the most uplifting blogs I have ever visited. I visit for inspiration and the word is always there. She hasn't been posting for a while, but i'll definitely be there when she gets back.

If you want to know what's going on in the world of music, stop by Songs in the Key of Life. You'll be greeted by a beautiful smile and a bunch of fun posts. I love music so I check her out every chance I get.

I've know The Fitness Diva for a long time. She's a strong, remarkable, Jill of all trades. If you want to know about fitness, nutrition and keeping yourself in shape her blog is the place to be. She's taught me a lot about this blog thing and i'm very thankful.

I have to give honorable mention to Keith. I was going to tag him, but the person who tagged me beat me to it. LOL! His blog is definitely one of my favorites. I think he's an amazing writer. I can see him writing screenplays or that great American novel. He's awesome!


I absolutely love being a part of the blog world. I've been writing for a long time but never had the guts to share my gift with the world. Now that i've started blogging i'm addicted. Thank you to all of you who take the time to stop by my blogs and share your thoughts with me. I'm having a blast.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Dear Diary 24




Dear Diary,

I met up with some friends yesterday and one of them was late. When she arrived and we had a chance to talk, she told me that she was late because she had just come from having an abortion. Just hearing the word brought back memories for me.

I became pregnant with my daughter when I was 16 years old. It was a total surprise, almost like an after school special. I was the girl who thought something like that would never happen to her. It never crossed my mind that my boyfriend (now husband) and I hardly ever used condoms.

When my boyfriend and I told my mother I was pregnant, she had an absolute fit. I can't really say I blamed her. The problem was, she was more worried about people would think of her than what was happening to me. She said people would think she was a bad mother if they say her 16 year old walking down the street with a big belly.

My mother proceeded to make a doctor's appointment for me, and even tried to sit in the room while the doctor examined me. I was ecstatic when the doctor told her she had to leave. Little did I know that she was at the main desk making an appointment for my abortion while my feet were in the stirrups.

As we walked home, she told me the date that my child would be sucked from my body against my will. Whenever I tried to tell her I wanted to have my child, she would ignore me. It was a really rough time. The only person I felt like I could talk to was the father of my child. Neither one of us wanted to abort our child, but we didn't know what to do.

The day of doom was approaching and my mother never really spoke to me. She had made the decision about what would be done to my child and with my body and that was all I needed to know. I wasn't about to let that happen, so I packed my clothes and left while she sat in the livingroom. There was no way I was going to have an abortion.

My mother eventually caught up with me after calling my father and most of our family and trying to make the father of my child look like satan. She blamed everything on him because he was 18 and I wasn't. She even tried to have him arrested for statutory rape. It was such a big mess. No matter what she tried he stood by me, and is still standing by me 25 years later.

Once she realized I was not going to do what she wanted, my mother gave in. She had no choice. She was the only person okay with what she was trying to do. When the smoke cleared, my family came over to my side and realized that forcing me to abort my child probably wasn't a good idea.

My daughter is a wonderful young woman. She just turned 24 the 20th of November. She graduated from the University of Virginia with a BS in psychology and an MS in early childhood development and teaches preschool. She has even studied in Morocco. I could not be any prouder of the woman she has become if I tried.

My mother loves to brag about all her grandchild has accomplished and I find that hilarious. If I had listened to her she would not be alive. My husband is also one of her favorite people in this world. I can remember when she told me he would be gone before our child was born. I understand that, in her mind, my mother was doing what she thought was best for me but the way she went about everything has left a sour taste in my mouth for 25 years. It still hurts. I wonder if she thinks about it.

I do not judge anyone who chooses to have an abortion. I think it is a woman's right to choose what to do with her body. It's just not something I would do. My friend is 42 years old with an established career and a ten year old son. She took every precaution and still became pregnant. She could not see a reason to have another child, and that is her prerogative.

It's funny how the simple word took me back to the time when I had to fight to bring my child into this world. I'm so glad I had someone in my life who was there for me and, together, we were able to make sure our child was born. I know a lot of girls in that position don't have that.

Until tomorrow....

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Dear Diary 23


Dear Diary 23,

Here's a tidbit of information on the strong black woman front that i'm sure no one has heard about. My girl, Serena Williams, will travel to Kenya this week to open the Serena Williams Secondary School in Matooni. In my opinion this is huge news. Did anyone know about this?

If Serena had gotten arrested for drunk driving or hitting her assistant in the head with her cell phone it would be all over the news. The priorities of our tabloid society disgust me sometimes.

During her visit to Kenya, Serena will officially open a secondary school put up in her name, to give chance to needy primary school students who want to pursue secondary school education. The school will allow hundreds of primary school students in the location to pursue secondary school education. The area suffers from high school drop out rate and most students are orphans due to the high HIV/Aids prevalence rate in the area.

I give Serena so much respect for doing this. It's obvious that she is doing it from her heart and not looking for publicity. To those who much is given, much is expected. I'm proud of this young woman for giving back to those less fortunate than her. It's what we all should do.

I wasn't able to find much information on the school, but I wanted to give her props for her efforts to do something great. How wonderful is it to give the gift of education? Much respect to Serena for giving this gift to chilren of the motherland.

Until Tomorrow....

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Dear Diary 22



Dear Diary,

Beside every great man walks a great woman. Michelle Obama is definitely that. She's the personification of a strong black woman. You can see it in her face. It's displayed in the way she walks, talks, and stands by her man. This woman is the bomb.

That's how we do. We're there for the men we love. When Barack's grandmother became ill, Michelle said do what you have to do baby, I got your back. She hit the campaign trail strong black woman style in her husband's absence and held it down until he returned.

It touched me when Barack described Michelle as his best friend and the backbone of their family. That is what a wife should be. It's what I try to be. The relationship these two black people have is wonderful and I am so thankful that black love will be on display for the world to see. People need to know it exists.

There is no doubt in my mind that Michelle Obama will be a remarkable first lady. I was listening to the radio this morning and they were joking about how American fashion is about to change. Michelle is a simple, dignified woman who can make a dress from H & M look like couture. I love that about her. That's how we do.

I have many memories and favorite moments from last night, but my favorite was after the speech was done and the family members left stage. Our President elect walked toward the crowd to say one final goodbye. Waiting for him, letting him have his moment, was Michelle. She had a look of pride on her face as she watched her man command the stage and prepare to begin the journey of his presidency. When he was done he walked to his best friend and they held hands and walked off the stage together. It was beautiful.

Michelle Obama, strong black woman and first lady. That's what i'm talking about!

Until tomorrow (which seems a little brighter)....